TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Reggie can tackle my bush.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
