There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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