is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Randomize
