hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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