okay pat passed out under dana's car
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
