yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
where am i from again
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Randomize
