Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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