she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize