What did we do last night that was yellow?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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