She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Floor bacon is actually really good
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
