Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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