we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
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That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Drunk is a universal language darling
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