She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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