I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
