No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
