Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
