Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
A+ Viking dick
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize