she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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