i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Randomize