i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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