Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
