i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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