He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
