I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
