haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
