You just made me feel so damn special
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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