You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
