thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
