I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize