I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I'm always down for nudity.
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