You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
