i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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