I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
As shirtless as possible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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