It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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