i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
