I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
apparently the secret to your success is patron
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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