Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
