I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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