I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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