i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
