Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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