Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Randomize
