Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
