Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
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