I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
