i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
