Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize