you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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