Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Your tits are I can't wait for
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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