i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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