My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
