If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize