VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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