Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
